Tips

So often I hear women talk about the fact
that their husbands do not help around
the house and are oblivious to what they
do. Today I would like to submit to you
that although I do not live with Mr.
Perfect, I do recognize his positive traits
and it makes a difference. Far from trying
to bash my ladies, (because I am one!), I
feel that it is important to take the time
to acknowledge what you do for each
other. I have found that to look for ways
to ease each other’s lives throughout the
day and to recognize those good deeds is
a way to invest into a much sweeter life
together.
Ladies, think about this for a minute, do
you remember the last time you had to
leave early with the kids and lunches were
already done, ready for departure time?
How about when the clothes ended up in
the dryer from the washer “miraculously”?
Perhaps you received a phone call from
him in the middle of a crazy day that gave
you something to look forward to in the
evening, or that take-out was already at
home after a rough one and you did not
have to prepare dinner. Our men need
acknowledgment and kudos for that, and
no matter how “well” it is all done, it is
still an act of kindness, love, and concern.
They are trying to please us. Showing
them gratitude goes a very long way!
Men, here are some things you may forget
about. Do you stop and think about the
fact that for the most part you are fed,
your clothes are washed and pressed, kids
are cared for all around while you work
the long hours, the bed is made, the
house is together, and you are able to
make the bills as a family because of her
income? Women also need some
acknowledgment for their contributions.
We need support and security, and lots of
loving and tenderness for the things we
do. That encourages us to keep going: this
can be our fuel and that also goes a very
long way.
Here are some quick tips for both to enjoy
on a regular basis:
1. Check on each other daily to know each
other’s needs. That will set the “coming
home at the end of the day” mood. Think
about it, if you know someone cares about
you and checks on you daily to find out
about how you are managing your day,
whether it is going well or not, it makes
for great support that you need and can
use to get you through.
2. Leave the house with having done
something for or said something special
to each other. In our case, even if we had
a disagreement, we still kiss before leaving
the house in the morning. After all, not to
be morbid, we do not know what awaits
us later in the day. Having the kiss as the
last thing that happened before parting is
soothing to the irritation of the argument
and you are able to be calmer about the
whole ordeal as you process it all. You can
also access solutions more easily. If there
were no arguments, then it is a prelude to
a great evening!
3. Help her with some of the chores. As
an example, too often there is emphasis
on how men need to be on time at work,
and how they usually are not the ones
taking off (or coming in later) due to
surprise-events. It goes both ways,
mothers do not always get special
treatment from their employers… If you
take a turn doing the dishes tonight, she
can go take a relaxing shower and be re-
energized for the rest of the evening. You
get the picture, right?
4. Read his mood when he comes home. Is
he in a state where he could not wait to
be home with you (in which case he will
tear right into being present with you and
the family and start contributing to the
evening routine), or does he need a bit of
time to decompress (in which case he will
find the first “alone” location in the house
and hide). From the reaction you get, you
can know how to act accordingly. Give
him space when he needs it, he will
appreciate it; or greet him with open arms
and immerse him in the happenings
around the home.
5. A few nights a week, try to connect.
This is the tough one. Sometimes, for the
ones who have families, it is very hard to
do because by the time you are in bed,
you are too tired to even see straight even
with glasses on… Do your best to talk
about things other than the children. Talk
about a joke you heard today, take the
time to smell her subtle perfume as she
slips next to you in bed and let her know
that you like it, ask about the chapter he
just finished reading, reminisce on
something really good that happened in
the weekend. Anything positive goes. Not
only does that help have a good night’s
sleep, but it also brings intimacy (who
does not want a little of that, tired or
not!)
Life can be a difficult beast to tame.
Sometimes I am not so sure we are able
to get it to settle for long. But would it
not be better to work at it with someone
we trust and love and who returns it all
the same? That beast we just mentioned
sometimes stops raging long enough to
offer a sumptuous ride for two in the
breeze through an enchanted forest. Yes,
just like in the fairy tales….be always there Enjoy it
together!